From: Every excuse in the book: 714 Ways to Say 'It's Not My Fault" by Craig Boldmand and Pete Matthews (I think I may need to find/buy/borrow this book and read it in its entirety.

The Silver Lining to the Burning The Bird:

Salmonella won't be a concern
No one will overeat
Everyone will think its Cajun Blackened
Uninvited quests will think twice next year
Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation
Pets won't pester you for scraps
The smoke alarm was due for a test
Carving your bird will provide a good cardivascular workout
After dinner the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football
The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned
You'll get to the dessert quicker
You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches

Smiles!

Jennifer